Past dream.

I'm currently listening to the song, "passion - Utada Hikaru" You know what this song reminds me of? There was this one day, back in the day, my whole family went to a Thai Restaurant to eat breakfast. I closed my eyes, and fell asleep as we were all waiting for the food to come out. My mp3 was on, and it was playing this song. I dreamt about the beach, but I wasn't alone. Alex was there and 2 other children. One boy and one girl. We all held hands, and walked along the beach. We were playing tag, and building sand castles. I remember it so well. I can't believe I ever left it behind. So many dreams, so many memories, so many things, all left behind. and now, slowly recovering from the deep sleep of mine. As I recover, I feel like I should just fall back asleep. I want to live my life like nothing exists. I want to live my life like I lived it for the last 8 months. Blinded by everything around me. Not ever noticing whats important in my life. I laugh just thinking back. How stupid I was. How stupid I am. How I crewed myself over. How I caused myself so much pain. I don't blame him for anything because everything is my fault. I just got to say, I'm sorry. And I will wait until the day you come back. And even though I move on, I will break up with him just for you. Cause I said... I want you, I only need you. I know I need to move on, But I know I can't and I won't.