Another Day of Thinking. (I really need better titles.)

You know, now that I really think about it, it feels like I just let 5 months of my life past me by. I was looking back at my music, and you know how they have the “Date added”, well I was looking at that. And I felt like it wasn’t long go when I downloaded that certain song. But when I see the date, it’s like all the way back in August. I think to myself again, was that really that long ago? I mean if I think about it, 5 months is a long time. It felt like yesterday when I said that “Shawty - T-pain” was a stupid song. And that I hate guys like that. Then I look at the date of when I downloaded it… It was back in august 30th of 2007. I was like… WTF!?!
Sigh, time passes to fast, and now that I want time to past faster, it goes super slow. It’s only been one month since I realized. I hate the fact that time passes so slow when I want it to past faster, and time passes so fast when I wanted it to past slower. It wasn’t long ago when I told myself that I don’t want it to be my birthday because that just means that schools ganna be ending soon. And I didn’t want school to end. I think it was because then the seniors will have to graduate. And I like the seniors.
Everything’s so confusing. I really hate this. I don’t know what the hell I should do with my life anymore. I know that he will always be with me. I know that he will always be there for me. But no matter how I put it, it’s never ganna be the same. I know that for sure, I’m still in love with him. And I can’t do anything about him loving me anymore because he’s in love with her now. I’m just scared that one day, he wouldn’t care about me anymore. I’m scared that we will drift so far that we won’t talk to each other.

I don’t want to lose him. I already lost him in reality; I don’t want to lose him friendship wise too. I can’t stand this pain. I can’t believe that time just past like that, and I didn’t even realize that he’s already gone. I’m losing him with every second that passes. I remember the past very well. And I can’t let go of it. I’m trapped within the past and I can’t leave it no matter how hard I try. I don’t have anything to say but the fact that I lost him, and I can’t believe He’s officially gone. There’s no turning back.

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