Reminessing

I've been going a lot or reminessing the last two, three days. I was just reading the past posts. and I can't believe its already half a year. I've changed to much. Things between me and my Ex has changed to much. I'm so confused, like I always am. Cause now, when i don't have contact with my crush, i start thinking about the past with my Ex. I really miss him. there are times when i start regreting ever breaking up with him. everyone saids that i made the best choice. i feel like i did too, cause i really dont know if i can take that cheating crap any longer. but, what ever. So right now, im stuck in the middle of likeing two guys, and i hope it does not add on. REALLY hope. cause that will just get really messy. I think imma try to write a poem again. i havn't done that in a while.(:

Fantasize.

To Him:
Are you always so kind to everyone? or am I just over happy that you said that to me? Everything you do seems to make me smile. Anyways... two nights ago, I had a dream. I know it will never come true, but I still dreamed on. You were sad, so you walked up to me to talk. You told me that you're worried about her. You said that she ignored you. That she was avoiding you. At first, I didn't believe you because you two always looked so close. But as you went on talking about her flirting with another guy, I started thinking otherwise. I thought to myself, "I will help, but will not take". (I wonder if that made sense)
Well, I just told you not to worry about it. After a few more days, you walked up to me again. You told me that she was with another guy. I told you to ask her about it and see what she saids. She admit the truth, that there was another guy and that she has been dating that guy for about a month already. You broke up with her that second. She didn't care and just walked away. You looked confused, and sad. That broke after two days.
You stayed after school where I hung out. I was hanging with my friends, until you walked up. You sat down and smiled. I waved hi. You stood up and walked to me. Grabbed my arm and said, "I have something to ask you." We walked somewhere where no one was. You told me thank you for being there for you. Then suddenly poped up the question, "Will you be my girlfriend?" I just looked at you, and smiled. "YES!" I gladly answered. We kissed. The END.
Just my dreams. I really think to much. Don't mind e. Just let me fantasize. It's better then facing reality.

its December already. this school year passes to fast. seems like just yesterday, it was the first day or school. now, its already half way though. i don't want it to pass so fast. but yet, i do. most likely i dont. cause that just means that i cant see him ever again. after this year, we might not even talk anymore. not that we talk now. we kinda drifted. we stoped talking. i htink its cause i feel like ihave nothing to say. the feeling of talking to him, but i dont know what to say. i dont want to make a fool of myself. or make him think im annoying. you know what i mean? and the other this is that i dont seem to type in this journal anymore. i wonder why. i rarely go on this now. but now that i have switched to this, i just decided to type something in. since i havent updated in like a whole month or so:P