I am...

I haven't wrote a poem in So long. and here's a poem i just finished for my history class.

I am...

I am a rose yet to bloom,
All grown up, or so you assume.
Friends and family are whom I love,
With heavenly father high above.

I am lost in the sound of music,
Singing to the wonderful lyrics.
I eat and eat but never get fat,
I hope I can just keep it at that.

I am an angel with black wings,
A falling angel with broken feelings.
Relationships have caused me pain,
Anymore; I’d go insane.

I want to go somewhere peaceful,
But not somewhere
The beach is where I want to be,
In the future; just you and me.


I actually this I wrote better ones than this, but for now thats all I can think of.(:

Second day of school.

Today was pretty much the same as yesterday. Except the fact that there are more homework then yesterday. I dislike homework.

He passed by when I was at Joyce's locker today. I was shy to say Hi again.... I feel so stupid. Maybe I'll be able to build up courage over time.. maybe.. but I don't get why I still like him. I know I will Never have a chance. He's taken. And I feel that I should just leave it alone. And yet apart of me still can't. I hate this.. why do I have to like him. Sigh.

Okie, back to the day... whoop.. nothing good happened.. so im just ganna leave it at that(:

First day of school.

yea.. its been a while since I updated this.

Umm.. today was the first day of school. I woke up at like 6:30 when I was suppose to wake up at 6:00. oh well, i just skipped breakfast. I was like rushing though the crowd to get my schedule. On the way there, people were like waving at me. OMGosh, I didn't even see them. I feel so bad. My apologize if that was you.

well.. that was how I was like.. pretty much the whole day. maybe things will get better tomorrow.

well, again... afraid to say hi to my little crush. ehh. I don't know... I'm just to shy.

Hmm.. I dislike first day of school. It's so boring! we have to play those stupid little "introduce yourself to your classmates" games. and hear the teacher talk on and on about what they did for the summer, and everything they know about them selfs.

I took $20 to school today to that I can buy lunch, but the lunch line was SO long! when I finally decided to leave, the bell rang.. and the line was STILL LONG! I don't think I'll be getting any lunch for the next ... week or two.. I'M GANNA STARVE!

well.. I think thats about it about today. I think I'll be able to update more now that theres at least SOMETHING to do.

Ohh, and the night before, I slept over at William's place... without him even being homeXD All my cousins went on vacation. only lily,Payne&&I have school today. Ehh. it was fun while it lasted. I made a mess.. tried to clean it up, but oh well:D

ugh!

失散 - 蒋雅文 <33
^New fav. song!(:


I was thinking today. As I was going to arch. design class, I heard a song called "shorty". I was talking about a guy and a girl. he calls her shorty even though shes not his girlfriend or anything. As that song played, I got more and more ticked off. I thought to myself, WHY are so much guys like that? are girls just play? I mean it's just stupid.

I told my sister, she's like "You know how guys are now. It's rare to find a guy that won't do such things." <-- even she knows. I really can't stand it. I just hope I won't ever find another guy like that in my future. I CAN'T stand them!

Bad Luck?

Right before I left the house today, (Bryan was over) and well, there was a cricket. I got scared (cause it popped up from nowhere) well, I stepped on it. and Bryan's like "your going to have A thousand years of BAD LUCK!" I was like SURE! haha. I don't even live that long.

Well, I got home from EATING with Joyce&&Sammi. It was almost 5PM. I had to walk to church cause Joyce had practice. But I didn't want to walk alone, So I called Ryan. But his mom still has his cell. I rushed home, hoping He was still online... I turned on my computer. I was lucky that he was still on. THEN my computer FROZE!

I HAD to restart my computer. After restarting, My AIM froze. I HAD to restart AGAIN! THEN My internet CUT OFF! UGH! so I gave up. I turned off my computer and said "FORGET IT!" my sister walked up to me and said IM him with my SN. I was like "you don't have his SN" "AND I didn't memorize it." then she said, then.. you can sign on your SN with my computer. (That was out of nowhere... she normally would YELL at me.. if I even bring that up) I did so. And Ryan signed off!

Dude.. so, I walked to practice and just watched them. I ended up going to church at 8PM. well.. It was still fun! Church was AWESOME today! we had like the ENTIRE time playing a game, and then we did worship. then we had cake cause Jennifer was leaving to Berkeley.<--I think thats now you spell it.... -.-"

well yea, then we had THE MYSTERY OF JOYCE'S MISSING MOM.ha ha.. yea, we found her then we all want home.

Past notes.

sometime in September of 2006
"Why didn't I brake up with him when I had the chance? I mean, how can I be so soft and still hold on to someone like him? He done so much wrong, and STILL I stay. Sometimes, Like now, I wonder.. "If he said that he loves me, and that he misses me like crazy, WHY, why would he do such things to me?" I trusted him. And still he... I don't know why I would do such stupid things. It's like, would you stay with them if they cheated on you? I know most girls won't. but I dont know why I'm so different. I just love him, I don't want to lose him. I guess Thats why."

October 1 of 2006
"10 months of this relationship between us. we have been though the thick and thin. we say we love eachother with all our hearts. But why so I feel like somethings not right? like something isn't equal. The fact that we don't talk as much as we use to. we use to say that we will talk to eachother everyday, about how our day went. Ever since yesterday, I feel like I'm keeping something away from you. Do you feel like I'm keeping something away from you? I guess writing these notes really is like keeping something away from you."
^I found a new song that day. 360 - Josh Hoge It's like i predicted the break up.

October 2 of 2006
"Today is the 10/2 and still thinking about what happened yesterday. we have been though thick and thin, but I guess it just doesn't cut it. You I love you and you still break up with me. was it something I did? why would you.. *sigh* I dont want to say anymore. I guess we just wasn't meant to be. Just know I will always be here for you. Be glad your moving on(;"

October 16 of 2006
"I think he broke up with me because he didn't want to hurt me anymore.(when he finds out that I kinda like another, He got all jealous.) When he finally realize that he loves me, he wants me back. But he didn't cause he was afraid. He didn't want people to think that he was some kind of player. so we just left it at that. We will acted as were together. Just without the title I guess."
^Thinking back, THATS JUST STUPID!

October 23 of 2006
"If you like her so much just get with her. Just get it over with. you just going to hurt me in the end anyways. I'm crying. So I'm guessing I'm crying myself to sleep tonight. Knowing the fact that you like another girl. You don't have to feel bad for me, Just go do as you like, I just want whats best for you. Don't worry, cause I will Always be here no matter what happens. I can really just die from this pain. I love you, but I just have to learn to let go. This is really hard for me, and you know it. Stop feeling guilty and just move on. I know you can."
^In the end, he told me that the day he broke up with me, he asked her out. (10/01/06)

October 24 of 2006
"WHATEVER! FOR REALZ!"

I'll stop here for now. These memories are to much. More tomorrow(:

New Music.

New Music.

I don't know what the hell's happening to my anymore. I mean, It's been taking over for a while now. I realize I'm changing. I'm changing into someone I have never seen within me. And now It's coming out.

Ha Ha. I don't know what I just said, but yea. Guess what?!? I just painted my nails black. and re-painted it again with a dash of red&&white. Enjoy the New music.

first verse

Cant wait until school begin,
I can finally see you again.

I don't know why or how, but this is the beginning of a poem that popped into my mind last night...-.-"

pissed!

I don’t know what the fuck is wrong wit my mom and dad. But yesterday really pissed me off. At dinner time, it’s like my parents started hating on me or something. I don’t really remember what it was about... oh wait, it was about tomatoes.

My daddy made my fav. Dinner yesterday. I was the first one to take a bit. So I digged in. there was really less soup, so I took more tomatoes, but as I was eating, the tomatoes blocked my rice, so I ate the tomatoes first. My dad sat at the table and started to yell. Saying that I didn’t eat the tomatoes. I did to... I just ate all of them. He scoped more on my bowl and said eat.

Then my mom looked at me and said, eat the tomatoes. I was like I did eat tomatoes. My dads like whatever. My moms like... okay, yea she did eat tomatoes, just really less. I was like WTF?!? UGH, so I just ate and stepped away. I went to get my mp3 then head back down to wash the dishes.

After the dishes, everything was fine. I was happy from watching gravitation. When I was at the last episode, my dad was like... I’m going to sleep. Please turn it down. So I did. Then my mom stated talking about her friend and her daughter, and how she came to America last year. And that she didn’t know English. And how she skipped three classes or something like that.

I was pissed; because she again was comparing me to some girl I don’t know. She really needs to understand that I’m not somebody else. I'm Paley and that’s all ill ever be. She’s like, every night you two watch you little drama stuff. And don’t even pay attention to school. I was like, its summer... she’s like, summers for you to practice what you have learned last year.

She’s like summer isn’t for you to play. It’s for you to relearn what you have learned last year. UGH! Right now I’m like typing to fast, you have no idea. And I’m not a fast typer for your info. Sigh, now I’m going to get my cell phone taken away, and my mp3. Then my internet. I have to turn off my computer at 10. Or before. And I have to read for and hour before bed time.

I have like 8 essays to write in Chinese, and I have to RESTUDY all my summer school geometry. Seriously, do you believe that summers are for studying? Isn’t that what we do during the school year? UGH! Now I have to start studying and crap! And I lost my mp3&&cell. I guess I don’t really have a use for them anyways. I mean I can’t live without music, but its not like ill really DIE! But still it would be nice to have music with me everywhere. But I guess I still have to listen to my mommy’s orders!-.-"

weird dream

last night i has a dream.

I was walking in the middle of the street with my dad. The around the corner was the Rowland raider regiment. They were marching in the sidewalk for some odd reason. Well after that, I met up with Joyce. We were at a school carnival or something. We stopped at the ticket booth. Then out of no where... Michael popped up. He was just standing around with his friends. Joyce and I just finished buying our tickets, and then I accidentally bumped into Michael. I looked up and said "hi, I’m sorry". He just smiled and left. I don’t really remember what happened after that, but then I was soon in this room with my cousins. It seemed like my moms work place, but yet it wasn’t. (This is going to be a little scrabbled because I remember little bits of it.) I remember I was in a school classroom. With my cousins, and this little girl. She as crying so I gave her my big lollipop. (I have no clue where I got that from...) then I put down my cell&&mp3 to go find my school books and schedule. When I came back to my stuff... they were gone. I went to look for it. My cousin Geni had it. -.-" after finding my stuff... my parents came in. they said i had to go. So we left. Right when I got to the car, I remember that I forgot my stuff AGAIN! And this time without my books too... -.-" so I went back into the room to find them. I found the cell&&mp3 right where I left it before Geni took it. But my books were gone... I look everywhere... then I ran out and saw Jeff. I started to talk about some weird game stuff that "I" really has no clue about. Then Michael came out of no where again, and started to talk with Jeff... i walked away and said bye. Jeff waved bye and Michael smiled. I got back to the car and my books were inside the car..... -.-"

Everything after that was weird and blurry. I remember something about white, a girl and Michael. Then, something that took place in front of M3 and a tree. It was something that really happened. The day when Eric wanted my cell #. But the end was different, Michael and Jeff walked up to us and started talking…….. -.-“

Seriously, I have some weird ass dreams. I wonder, does dreams tell you something?!? If it does, what the hell is my dreams trying to say!?!?!-.-"

Another drawing.

^Drawn on 080507

someone tell me if my drawings are okay :/

recent pictures

^Drew on 072607

^Drew on 080207

^Drew on 080307